Bagelheads & Facekinis

Bagelheads & Facekinis 09/27/2012   Credit: www.wtfp.org For those of you that woke up this morning, took one look in the  mirror and decided to go back to bed, I’m about to help out your self-esteem. So grab a cup of coffee and you might want to skip the bagel. You are beautiful just the way you are!  Bagelheads This story is so weird I can’t wait to tell you about it. There is a new fad in Japan right now where people go into tattoo or piercing shops  and they have a saline solution drip put into their forehead to create swollen areas that look like bagels. And they call these people (drumroll please) Bagelheads. The swelling only lasts for one night (bummer), by morning they are back to normal as their bodies absorb the solution. The other fun part about this is that you can also inject other areas of your body too so you can have a bagelbutt or bagelbreasts and some people color in certain areas of the swelling to create art. In Japan people are really into body modification (can you tell?) and they even have parties where groups of people can all turn into bagelheads at the same time. The procedure only takes two hours. Sounds like great fun for your next wedding or baby shower doesn’t it? Do you think they serve bagel chips at a bagelhead party? Maybe  they should see if they could have some brains injected instead of saline?   http://www.manolith.com/2009/06/30/bagelheads-%e2%80%93-japanese-up-their-weirdo-cred-with-latest-fad/ Credit:expressindia.com Now it’s onto China where women are sporting suits and masks so the sun never touches their skin. These women think tanned skin is nasty, they prefer that porcelain doll look.  Pale skin is a sign of femininity in China and they even use whitening creams. The Facekini masks are quite frightening but at least you can buy them in a wide array of colors. I wonder if they have vitamin D deficiencies. http://news.yahoo.com/photos/china-s-face-masked-swimmers-slideshow/women-wearing-nylon-masks-rest-shore-during-visit-photo-160349472.html http://www.examiner.com/article/chinese-women-wearing-masks-hoods-while-swimming-to-keep-pale So there you have it, your self-esteem has been restored and you  can go proudly out into the world today with no Baglehead and no Facekini. You might be a loser in Japan or China but you are USA beautiful to me! Teepee Update My opinion has now changed on teepeeing and if I see any little bastards in my neighbor in the near future I will call the police. Yesterday I drove through an area that was like going through a teepee car wash. At least a hundred rolls of toilet paper covered the trees on the main drag on the way to school. Still no real harm done expect I imagine the city had to clean it up.  I also learned that the people that clean up their yards immediately only get victimized over and over throughout the week so they are just better off waiting it out. This is not good for the neighboring homes because the toilet paper blows into everyone else’s yards.  So now I have toilet paper in my front yard. Still no real harm done but remember when I told you that a teacher lives on my street? Last night he got the teepee treatment again except this time they busted out the bay window in his house. This is completely unacceptable.  Next year I’m going to have a meeting with the neighbors and we will all hide out until the teepee gang arrives and I say we spray hoses at them or maybe shot them with paintball guns.