Bullet Train: Nobody bothered to tell Canada.

 Nobody bothered to tell Canada, Wakey Wakey

It would appear as though China is dead set on making the world a smaller place. Either that or they're dead set on pulling a Red Dawn-style sneak attack and they think North Americans are really, really oblivious. Whatever the reason, reports are circulating today that China (a.k.a America's landlord) is in talks to build a high speed bullet train between Asia and America, by way of Russia and Canada. The kicker is that nobody bothered to tell Canada.

The guardian originally picked up the story on May 8, but they made it seem like a practical joke (probably because it sounds like a practical joke), but the potentially 13,000 kilometer (or, in real distance, about 8078 mile) rail line was confirmed to be an actual, true thing by two major news sources in Russia and China just a few days later.

The proposed bullet train would shoot north out of China, through crushing cold of Russian Siberia, into a tunnel that would run underneath the Bering Strait, connecting Russia with Alaska. From there it would streak down the Canadian coastline into the continental United States. According to theorists (because we're still pretty much at that stage), the whole trip would take about two days from beginning to end. The train would rip through the countryside at an astonishing 350km per hour. That's about 220 miles an hour if you're not attending Hogwarts.

Assuming there was no such thing as geopolitics, this would be an incredible idea, especially since China is opting to pick up the tab. Unfortunately, no one in Asia has bothered to mention the plan to Canada. When Motherboard picked up the story as it took its own journey across the Bering Strait, they asked Canadian Department of Foreign Affairs andInternational Trade media relations spokesperson Claude Rochon about the train, Rochon was blunt: "To answer your question, Foreign Affairs, Trade and Development Canada is not informed of this project."

As of this post, the United States has not responded to the proposed international project. Most likely, they're a little busy keeping their eyes on the little kerfuffle in the Ukraine. Or recent semi-scary multi-billion dollar gas deals in Asia.

At any rate, at this time the cross-continental bullet train is solely in the realm of speculation. Considering China's status as a burgeoning superpower, though, and their sizeable economic investment in the United States (as well as Canada's general reputation for agreeableness), and it's not entirely outside the realm of possibility.