My brother-in-law: the most worthless parasite on Earth

My brother-in-law:

the most worthless parasite on Earth

The in-law who has given me the most trouble is my brother-in-law. He has some of the worst habits I’ve seen in any person, but I suspect that many Chinese males are not dissimilar to him. The only things he cares to do are eat, play, watch TV, shit, and sleep. No kidding. It could be a lifestyle for him. Wait a minute, what am I saying: it is his lifestyle. He is so lazy I think there must be mould growing on him. When he first moved into our house, he would eat something and leave the wrapper wherever he was. Don’t care, just drop it. By the computer, on the chair, anywhere. He would wash his hair and leave his fallen hair all over the sink. The idea that he could clean it up never entered his thick skull. And how can I forget how many times I had to flush the toilet for him. I thought he would one day ask me to wipe his ass too.

This lazy, parasitic brother-in-law still never lifts a finger to help us keep the house clean, even after living with us for 18 months. He's probably swept the floor 3 times in 18 months. I’m beginning to wonder what twisted Chinese way of thinking has caused him to believe that I am his maid.

When he first moved in, he would leave the lights on all the time, wasting electricity that I paid for. The sloth had never earned a penny in his life so he never knew how hard it is to work for money. And it’s not his money anyway that he’s wasting so why should he care? To him I could be picking money off of trees. Exhibiting the standard Chinese characteristic of being unwilling to change or maybe just to dumb to, my wife and I had to tell him to turn off the lights about twenty times before it finally got stuck in the space between his ears.

Everyday he would eat dinner and when finished, just left his bowl and glass on the table. He was so lazy he couldn’t even put his bowl and glass in the sink. Definitely, washing the dishes was too low for him. He’s not wicked but his inability to think beyond his own present desires makes me regret having let him live with us.

Nor did he think he should respect my privacy and knock before entering my room. I’m a bit stymied: privacy is a concept not known by the Chinese so why don’t they have sex on the sidewalks where everyone can see them? One day, I had bought some ceramic figurines for my wife and thought to give them to her a few at a time, like when I wanted to surprise her or when she was upset. So I hid them in my bag and at night, took them out to hide them downstairs. But I had to go upstairs to get something for school so I ran upstairs for less than 10 seconds. In that short space of time, my brother-in-law found the figurines, opened them, showed them around, spoiling my surprise.

At least, I’ve trained him now to knock on my bedroom door instead of barging in. That took longer than 6 months. I think a German Shepherd could have learnt it in 3 days. He still has not learnt to return my shampoo or other things after using them. That thing cares nothing for anyone but himself. If I put five packs of juice in the fridge, he would drink all if he felt like it. It just wouldn’t occur to his greedy rodent-self that maybe there were other people in the house who liked to drink juice too.

And like other Chinese people, he will do the most utterly stupid things. I got annoyed one time because he did one too many stupid things in one day: he drank out a pack of juice and put the empty pack back into the fridge. Probably thought the air in the empty pack needed to be cooled.

He and his stupid, dirty, selfish, careless habits are the biggest cause of quarrels between my wife and I. And how old is he? No, not 5 but 18. My wife has spoken to him many times, telling him that this is not his mother's house, to change and act differently. I get really annoyed because he should be picking up after me. I gave him a bed, and I pay all the bills. So why should I be a slave to a parasite in my own house?